You have provided a living illustration of a kind of voice possible as your deacons prayerfully seek wisdom on how they should “speak up” through the ways they organize to help us activate our baptismal vows. And there’s much more spilling out of the full cup here. May we receive the overflow as we prayerfully discern our needs and gifts. Thank you Bishop Jake.
As someone who is discerning to the diaconate, this really speaks to me. As a kid, I would also be afraid to speak up. Not as a result of a speech impediment, but due to fear of angering someone for their actions. As a people pleaser I was afraid of making others mad, but I know now and feel it's now imperitive to call out injustice whenever and where ever I see it. Thank you for these powerful words.
Ah, my friend...this one hit the breadbasket. I know my tendencies when provoked and wanting justice. And those tendencies are to point out the wrongs that should be righted. But yes, there is a better way to do those things. Sometimes, it seems that the softer, kinder way is simply ridiculed and mocked by those in power. But then again, perhaps their hearts are so hardened that no words matter at all. It's hard to know what will have an impact and inspire a re-thinking from those who enjoy committing injustice and inflicting pain. However, by and large, when dealing with everyday people, I do believe the kinder way is better.
Hi Angie, this is true and personally I think the cruelty is (at least at its core) intentional, unfortunately. Children in certain religious spaces have been raised to be suspicious, fearful, and rejecting of "other", and those children are now adults, and in those who are true believers we're seeing the fruits of their indoctrination. By the way, I've just read your latest post "Are There Any Adults Here?" - a very worthwhile read thank you, and so I'm now following your account! The next thing I read, and it was interesting that I read it immediately after your piece, was "Teach Them Beauty Before the Empire Finds Them" and I was immensely touched by Rev. Allison Burns-LaGreca's poem - I wondered if perhaps you'd care to look? https://allisonburnslagreca.substack.com/p/teach-them-beauty-before-the-empire
Nietzsche said something like this: when you fight monsters be careful that you don’t become the monster you fight. Of course, he’s notoriously hard to interpret. But I take that to mean that we are to resist but that there’s spiritual danger in the resistance. We can succumb to the very dark passions animating the one we’re resisting. I face this frequently. As I said in a response to Liz, I’m known for being direct. I regret the fact that I’ve also fallen into being shrill, harsh, and forgetful of my own need for mercy. We’re all just a work in progress my friend.
Bishop Jake - This was a wonderful and inspiring sermon - I am so glad I got to hear it "live," but also glad you've posted it here so that I can share it with others!
Thanks Jake, I'm really so glad for this post! I'm not entirely convinced a bit of "scoldiing" doesn't have its place but this may be a US/kiwi cultural difference. We admire those who "call a spade a spade" and "don't beat about the bush". But in NZ we don't usually encounter the level of religious-political extremism you have there. So I concede the context is different :)
And now where my mind's turned.. is thinking about: what are the things that we model differently or maybe speak up about? And I read this essay a few hours ago and wanted to mention it to you:
"I went to Rwanda in 2020 as a professor, leading a graduate cohort to study reconciliation from the people who had lived it." ~Rose Madrid Swetman
To me this is an important essay (it doesn't detail violent incidents). What it discusses, in quite some detail, is the role of things like: fear, suspicion, dehumanising language, justifying cruelty as self-defense, framing dissent as betrayal, and theology that's been hollowed-out - as a repetitive pattern that conditions people toward violence. The author also contrasts what she learned from survivors in Rwanda with the US today - and I found it a really worthwhile read!
Hi Liz! Thanks for the link. I look forward to reading it. As for scolding, it might be interesting for you to know that in an evaluation I was once called “very direct.” Scolding connotes that the scolder has assumed a position of moral superiority for themselves. Honestly holding someone to account doesn’t require that. That’s why I like how we end the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Following the absolution the Confessor says: go in peace and pray for me a sinner. We’re all equally in need of mercy.
Scolding is a difficult word, particularly for a female to discuss - so I tread warily. It's just that "scolding" is often an accusation directed at women. It's often used as a gendered term (clearly not in your usage, and I'm not suggesting that). But if you look at what those women are doing or saying, they're often just trying to survive or help others survive. You have a trope there I believe, of the "angry black woman". Scolding suddenly became a word again here - when Jacinda Ardern became PM of NZ and part of the country had a problem with kindness. And I confess I rebuked a L/W political commentator guy on Substack who excoriated a woman for speaking out publicly against another L/W male commentator (accusing her of "scolding"), but, when I looked into the situation, she'd been defending a disabled person and simply amplifying the disabled person's own words! And so "scolding" can become a label or category to demean and dismiss people. I think we need to be *really* careful that we don't get intimidated by such labels - because it takes intentional courage to speak up - if we're anxious about being labelled a "scold" (and this particularly applies to women) we may not speak up at all. May the Lord give us women strength and wisdom! Re the evaluation and "very direct": yes I'm interested - but not at all surprised. I take it that they wanted you to tone it down - perhaps you should've got a medal instead! Honestly, one of my best times of spiritual growth came after you were "direct" with me - don't ever forget that - because it was a gift and immensely helpful. Thank you!
You have provided a living illustration of a kind of voice possible as your deacons prayerfully seek wisdom on how they should “speak up” through the ways they organize to help us activate our baptismal vows. And there’s much more spilling out of the full cup here. May we receive the overflow as we prayerfully discern our needs and gifts. Thank you Bishop Jake.
Thank you, Ruth! And I’m so very excited about this group of deacons (and all my clergy actually).
Love it; I did a sermon once on Jeremiah, which was one of my favourites
Bishop Jake,
As someone who is discerning to the diaconate, this really speaks to me. As a kid, I would also be afraid to speak up. Not as a result of a speech impediment, but due to fear of angering someone for their actions. As a people pleaser I was afraid of making others mad, but I know now and feel it's now imperitive to call out injustice whenever and where ever I see it. Thank you for these powerful words.
Thanks for sharing that Mike. And blessings on your discernment.
Ah, my friend...this one hit the breadbasket. I know my tendencies when provoked and wanting justice. And those tendencies are to point out the wrongs that should be righted. But yes, there is a better way to do those things. Sometimes, it seems that the softer, kinder way is simply ridiculed and mocked by those in power. But then again, perhaps their hearts are so hardened that no words matter at all. It's hard to know what will have an impact and inspire a re-thinking from those who enjoy committing injustice and inflicting pain. However, by and large, when dealing with everyday people, I do believe the kinder way is better.
Hi Angie, this is true and personally I think the cruelty is (at least at its core) intentional, unfortunately. Children in certain religious spaces have been raised to be suspicious, fearful, and rejecting of "other", and those children are now adults, and in those who are true believers we're seeing the fruits of their indoctrination. By the way, I've just read your latest post "Are There Any Adults Here?" - a very worthwhile read thank you, and so I'm now following your account! The next thing I read, and it was interesting that I read it immediately after your piece, was "Teach Them Beauty Before the Empire Finds Them" and I was immensely touched by Rev. Allison Burns-LaGreca's poem - I wondered if perhaps you'd care to look? https://allisonburnslagreca.substack.com/p/teach-them-beauty-before-the-empire
Thank you, Ms Liz, for the comment and suggestion. The poem was powerful!
Yes, someone recently said to me, “ don’t let his demons become your demons”
That’s a good way of putting it
Nietzsche said something like this: when you fight monsters be careful that you don’t become the monster you fight. Of course, he’s notoriously hard to interpret. But I take that to mean that we are to resist but that there’s spiritual danger in the resistance. We can succumb to the very dark passions animating the one we’re resisting. I face this frequently. As I said in a response to Liz, I’m known for being direct. I regret the fact that I’ve also fallen into being shrill, harsh, and forgetful of my own need for mercy. We’re all just a work in progress my friend.
Very true. It’s much easier to have restraint physically…but when one is pretty skilled with the pen, that too can become a powerful weapon.
As a person starting discernment, this was an extra I needed. Thank you
Blessings on your discernment, Brenda!
Bishop Jake - This was a wonderful and inspiring sermon - I am so glad I got to hear it "live," but also glad you've posted it here so that I can share it with others!
Thanks, Whit!
Oh friend, thanks for sharing this beautiful narrative. What grace, what insight. God bless!
Blessings my friend!
Thank you for noting the difference between courage and brashness. Wonderful thoughts here.
Thanks, Robin!
My favorite line:
“Jesus transformed lives not by condemning the world, but by embodying a better way. And he commissions us to do the same.”
Amen!
Thanks Jake, I'm really so glad for this post! I'm not entirely convinced a bit of "scoldiing" doesn't have its place but this may be a US/kiwi cultural difference. We admire those who "call a spade a spade" and "don't beat about the bush". But in NZ we don't usually encounter the level of religious-political extremism you have there. So I concede the context is different :)
And now where my mind's turned.. is thinking about: what are the things that we model differently or maybe speak up about? And I read this essay a few hours ago and wanted to mention it to you:
"I went to Rwanda in 2020 as a professor, leading a graduate cohort to study reconciliation from the people who had lived it." ~Rose Madrid Swetman
To me this is an important essay (it doesn't detail violent incidents). What it discusses, in quite some detail, is the role of things like: fear, suspicion, dehumanising language, justifying cruelty as self-defense, framing dissent as betrayal, and theology that's been hollowed-out - as a repetitive pattern that conditions people toward violence. The author also contrasts what she learned from survivors in Rwanda with the US today - and I found it a really worthwhile read!
https://rosemadridswetman.substack.com/p/how-could-god-fearing-people-get
ALWAYS happy to get "extras" in my inbox from The Woodlands! Makes my day :)
Hi Liz! Thanks for the link. I look forward to reading it. As for scolding, it might be interesting for you to know that in an evaluation I was once called “very direct.” Scolding connotes that the scolder has assumed a position of moral superiority for themselves. Honestly holding someone to account doesn’t require that. That’s why I like how we end the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Following the absolution the Confessor says: go in peace and pray for me a sinner. We’re all equally in need of mercy.
Scolding is a difficult word, particularly for a female to discuss - so I tread warily. It's just that "scolding" is often an accusation directed at women. It's often used as a gendered term (clearly not in your usage, and I'm not suggesting that). But if you look at what those women are doing or saying, they're often just trying to survive or help others survive. You have a trope there I believe, of the "angry black woman". Scolding suddenly became a word again here - when Jacinda Ardern became PM of NZ and part of the country had a problem with kindness. And I confess I rebuked a L/W political commentator guy on Substack who excoriated a woman for speaking out publicly against another L/W male commentator (accusing her of "scolding"), but, when I looked into the situation, she'd been defending a disabled person and simply amplifying the disabled person's own words! And so "scolding" can become a label or category to demean and dismiss people. I think we need to be *really* careful that we don't get intimidated by such labels - because it takes intentional courage to speak up - if we're anxious about being labelled a "scold" (and this particularly applies to women) we may not speak up at all. May the Lord give us women strength and wisdom! Re the evaluation and "very direct": yes I'm interested - but not at all surprised. I take it that they wanted you to tone it down - perhaps you should've got a medal instead! Honestly, one of my best times of spiritual growth came after you were "direct" with me - don't ever forget that - because it was a gift and immensely helpful. Thank you!
I see what you mean. Seems to me that nag has a similar feel here but I’m not sure
Hi Jessica! Glad you're here