A Call from the Memory Care Unit

A lesson in the power of letting go.

My friend John got a call one evening from the memory care unit. His father had been suffering from Alzheimer’s for several years. John’s father had dressed himself, packed his suitcase, and was now waiting in a visitor’s lounge. The staff had tried to coax him back into his room. Each time he insisted, “They’re coming to take me home.”

Photo by Mantas Hesthaven on Unsplash

When John got there, he sat and talked calmly with his dad for a while. Eventually they walked together back to his room. After the older man fell asleep, John unpacked his dad’s few belongings, thanked the staff, and drove home.

The next evening, John got another call. The dementia unit again. This time, a nurse gave him the news that his father had died. When John had finished telling me about his father’s death, he said, “I guess deep down he knew. He sensed that he was dying. They were coming to take him home. And he wanted to be ready.”

Being ready for death is, paradoxically, the key to living a full, rewarding, …